Tuesday, December 31, 2013

我既仔

叫小豬 kiss kiss 公仔,馬上做。叫小豬 kiss kiss 媽媽,扭轉面避開,陰陰嘴笑。衰仔。

(不過叫十次都有一次成功得到他的熱吻的。)

Monday, December 30, 2013

My little piglet knows how to kiss now~~~ ohh so surprised~~~
這些日子快樂不知時日過原來已到歲尾了。甚麼回顧呀展望呀不知還有沒有時間寫呢。

Saturday, December 28, 2013

揀飲擇食既小豬,服侍佢三餐真的好頭痛。

Thursday, December 26, 2013

五年

與你一起五年。

謝謝你。

謝謝你五年來的照顧和愛護。

謝謝你的尊重,你的信任。

謝謝你喜歡我是我。

從來,從來,你沒有半點要求我要改變些甚麼。

你總是說,「你就是這樣的啊。」

或許這是世上最溫柔的話。

你也是最最溫柔的人。

我忽然想,我應該也算是個挺不錯的人,才 deserve 你吧?(!)

Look forward to the many years ahead with you。

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

We didn't bother to put up any Christmas decors, but we managed to have a very merry Christmas.

My Christmas wish, if there's such thing.

I dream of the day when I can put my baby down in his crib fully awake then I kiss him and I say "sleep tight my love" then he smiles at me and off he goes to dreamland.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

這個年頭還收到寫滿字的聖誕卡,也是幸福事一椿。

Sunday, December 22, 2013

當你餵夜奶時感覺到個B傳出異味掙扎了一番還是決定打開來看看然後發現是真的有黃金(!)那時你就會好慶幸黃金是有氣味的。

Friday, December 20, 2013

泡菜小豬


小豬的眼睛越來越似爸爸。看來他是擺脫不了泡菜男的宿命了。

有一得就必有一失

話說生後體重持續下降。比生前輕了十幾磅,還差兩磅就回到我高中時然後一直維持了十五年的體重。是想,再減多兩磅就炫耀一番。要知道這段日子我可是狂食的哦。當然沒有運動啦不要說笑啦那來的時間。

嗯,誰知。可能現在不用再揹小豬午睡,加上比以前舒服萬倍,這個星期,體重有微升的趨勢。驚。

我想我不能再肆無忌憚地吃吃吃了。是否也要開始做點運動呢?

唉,做人真的好煩惱哦。

Thursday, December 19, 2013

小驚喜

最近小豬常常給我們驚喜。

通常八點多起床的他有時六點多就醒了。我想沒有父母想個 baby 那麼早醒的吧。我們也好怕。一來(男人)沒得睡,二來(男人)要陪他玩,三來會亂了 nap time。所以他每次早醒我們都好頭痛。

今早,他 6:40 就醒了。但醒後沒有像以往那樣叫我們,(但有叫聲,如果不是我們也不知他醒了,)只是自己拿床仔的公仔來玩。我叫男人不要理他,由得他玩一會,等他不耐煩才過去。

誰知他一直玩玩玩,玩到七點居然自己睡著了!!!(其實我自己也已睡著。)是一大進步呀!!!從未試過!!!

希望小豬持久越睡越好啦。
明天開始我放長假!!!(!)

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Why do people like to have their children take photo with (fake) Santa? I'll never get that and I hope I'll never need to do that... Ohh God.

驚嚇

今日放小豬自己玩,我去了洗碗。

洗完遠遠望下小豬,點解好似啃親咁?!我走過去,問小豬發生甚麼事。(!)望下地下,全部玩具在,應該沒有吞下玩具。(!!)然後小豬又作啃親樣,我一望,好像真的見到有東西在口裡面!!!趁他張開口時我快速地伸手進去挖它出來… …


是一張約2cm長的硬紙!!!

那是半個鐘前他從書中撕下來然後咬了的一片!!!那就是說他已經含著半個小時了!!!


天啊!!!有點冒冷汗。

我想,這種事情應該陸續有來吧。(呼氣)
小豬一向都是個 happy baby,除了睡覺,一要睡覺就哭哭哭。但經過 sleep train 一個月,感覺他真的不同了,這幾天已變成一個超級 happy baby。(男人不停說他是否病了,怎麼乖成這樣。)見到他那麼開心我也好開心呀。是真的有「終於熬出頭來」的感覺了。

End of White Noise?

We stopped using white noise yesterday, piglet seemed to be fine, though we saw him turned and rolled more often than usual for night sleep... but he was fine! Hoorrayy~~

(Although we like that white noise can block out other noises in the house, but I think it's best not to let piglet depends on it.)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

午夜驚魂

凌晨一點多,忽然聽到嘟嘟聲。Baby monitor 閃著「no signal」。望一望手機,沒有了 wifi,狂搖身邊人「wifi 壞左!Baby monitor no signal!」「Baby monitor 不需要 wifi 的呀。」

忙亂中,搞了一陣才知道停電了。

第一樣想到的是,小豬房的 heater 會停。好在沒有前些天那麼冷。

第二樣是,小豬會在一點至五點間醒來吃奶,但他現在不會哭不會大叫,沒有 baby monitor,很難知他是否醒了。

打電話去煤電公司,話到四點半才修好。

男人望一望左邊鄰居,有電。對面鄰居,也有電。但煤電公司說他們已經知道我們家停了電,就唯有信他們囉。(不然還能怎樣?!)

然後想到,冰箱的東西怎麼辦… …

折騰了差不多一個鐘,好累。我叫男人快點休息吧。但其實自己也睡不著… …

黑暗中男人忽然說:「咦… … 沒有電就沒有 white noise 囉!小豬居然沒有醒到!!!」

!!!!!)))))))震驚(((((((!!!!!

(其實可能有醒過但自己睡返。因為我們每次停 white noise 他就會醒。)

後來朦朦朧朧地睡下醒下。到三點多燈就開了,終於可以放心睡。過多半個鐘,小豬才醒來吃奶。

以前午夜停電,根本就不會知道。原來有個 baby,電是那麼重要。

+

意外的收穫是,今天開始,我們。決定。不再用。white noise。了。!!!!

Monday, December 16, 2013

My iPhone photo stream won't sync to my PC... 煩。
嗯,我開始相信,當你用盡心機去照顧小孩,是不會白費的。假以時日,會見到成果的。
如果小豬日日都咁乖我就發達囉!!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

昨日去飲茶,幾位亞姐不停讚小豬好乖坐定定。今日友全家來玩,又不停讚小豬好乖好開心不停笑笑笑。嗯,其實小豬除左睡覺是個豬頭外,都算幾乖的,很少扭計啦。(不過睡覺是很很很重要吧。)(不過不過現在比幾個星期前真的好左好多好多啦。不用再在地獄了。)

Thursday, December 12, 2013

頂。而家 Amazon 要 $35 先有 free shipping 呀呀呀~~~
Just when you think you had seen the worst of your baby's poo he would surprise you with a worse one.

(I absolutely couldn't understand those people who said "after a while you wouldn't mind your baby's poo..." Well, after 7.5 months I still mind every tiny bit of them!!!)

出牙記


想記下小豬出牙仔的日期;Google 下見到這個圖。

小豬頭兩隻牙仔四個半月就出左。(三個幾月就開始牙痛,陰公豬。)上個月出左第三隻。而今個月又出多兩隻。(好似有另一隻出緊。)現在痛到他哇哇叫。慘慘。

嗯,他才七個半月,跟上面那些日期 off 曬。

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Ohh baby why are you so fussy today.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

自小豬出世後我差不多天天都煮飯,只有星期天會到父母吃。但過去一個月他們外遊所以我唯有天天都要煮。前幾天他們回來了,今晚我終於不用煮飯了!!(真的,好多事情到需要時,就會做到囉。)

Evil Amazon

After chef/owner of Zuni Cafe Judy Rogers' passing, I wanted to get her Zuni Cafe cookbook. While looking at it on Amazon, it suggested Alice Waters' cookbooks... then it reminded I wanted to get Waters' cookbook awhile back… as I was looking, I saw Waters got several cookbooks and they all seem good. Damn. 


PS: Zuni Cafe is on top of my list if you asked me for a recommendation of restaurants in SF. It happens to within walking distance from my old place. I still remember the days when I used to lunch there alone... umm... those were the days... ahhh...

PPS: Though I was not all impressed by Chez Panisse. (Hah!) But I like Waters' cooking philosophy.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

近兩次推小豬坐 stroller 出街都喊;要抱抱!(以前未試過呀。)我唯有把本來 front facing 的他轉為 rear facing 好讓他見到我,然後就沒事了。其實他轉了 front facing 坐已經好一段時間了,因為可以見到更多野所以比較喜歡。不知為何忽然又要望著我?同時,真的慶幸部 stroller 有這個 feature,因為小豬喊起來拆天一樣。

Thanksgiving dinner

Haha, just remember I forgot to write down the menu from our Thanksgiving dinner:

This year my parents were out of the country. Without my dad, who is a stubborn traditional Cantonese man who resists to venture out of the Cantonese food zone, I felt I could be more free on the menu. So except our "traditional dishes," roasted prime ribs and Yorkshire pudding, (no one wants turkey!) the other three dishes were new to our Thanksgiving table.

With the baby and all that, it's about keeping things simple.

iPad 的絞結


一直都絞結著要不要買部 iPad。

感恩節飯後,有人說,Target Black Friday deal,$479 送 $100 giftcard,另一人叫他去排隊。(Target 八點開門,那時約七點。)當時我完全覺得是否傻架。沒有理會。不過一早打算送部 iPad 給爸媽,好讓他們日日夜夜隨時可以看小豬的照片呀錄像呀(!)就順口說,如果有就幫我們買部囉。

後來個結局出乎意料之外!他排了兩個鐘居然可以買到兩部 iPad!真的是 OMG!跌破眼鏡。

又後來,男人發現,原來蘋果 Black Friday 都會送 $75 giftcard 的。(只不過 Target 的 giftcard就好用好多啦。蘋果 giftcard 都不知怎用。)但不用排隊,比 Target 的 deal 更好吧?

我們繼續絞結。

甚至去蘋果店走了一轉。

那天,不知男人問了我多少次,「買不買?」

「有什麼用?」這是我的問題。

然後那天,我們拿著 Target 買的 iPad 與老爺奶奶 FaceTime,小豬顯然好開心好投入。嗯,結論是:可以用來 FaceTime。

絞結到晚上十點幾,男人終於在蘋果網買了!

+ + +

到目前為止,小小感想:
  • 望完 iPad 再望部 iPhone,那是個很奇怪的感覺!!(不會只有我才這樣覺得吧?!)
  • 除了 FaceTime 還不知可以怎樣用。(!)(不過用來 FaceTime 都好似值得。(!!)小豬真的好開心。)
  • 其實我不知用甚麼時間來「玩」這個 iPad。有時勉強睡前坐在床上拿著它,(因為整天都沒碰過它有點不好意思耶)但不知可以做什麼。嗯,還是「玩」我的 iPhone 吧,可以躺著哩。iPad 躺著拿住很累呀。
  • 與小豬一起很難有機會玩,他見到就撲過來。唉。
  • 有晚,忽然想起,咦,不如睡前睇返這季的「The Mentalist」吧,一集都沒睇過呀。(是否做埋今季就收爐啦?!)誰知上去 CBS 網站,只有最新的三集。灰。(我是個上網看劇白痴來的,完全不知如何從那裡入手。)(因為一直對追劇沒興趣所以也懶得理會。)

Friday, December 6, 2013

突變菜單

男人表妹明天自遠方來。這個星期我計劃好了(簡單的) 3-course menu 招待,主菜是 root vegetable 燴 short ribs。

今天出門去買餸前我多口問男人表妹吃不吃牛?他馬上 whatsapp 表妹,結果答案是:不。吃。!!!

雖然我的第六靈感(?!)對了但還是有點晴天霹靂。因為我們每天只有一個小時的空檔時段可以與小豬出去,現在不去就沒其他時間了。

怎麼辦?整個 shopping list 都變了。

上車後,為了節省時間我還要餵小豬食 solid food 所以也沒多時間想。

去到超市,匆匆忙忙的決定改主菜為茴香焗三文魚;配菜薯蓉改迷迭香烤紅薯仔;把本來比較 light 的頭菜柿沙拉改為椰菜花湯。好在甜點可以留。

哇好驚險呀~~~ 成額汗。


(但計劃了成個星期我現在好想食 short ribs 呀呀呀~~~)

Thursday, December 5, 2013

現在不再揹小豬午睡。好處是,多了點時間做家務。也算不好處是,不會成日拿著電話寫字。
好凍凍凍凍凍呀呀呀~~~

Monday, December 2, 2013

今日我要給小豬十個讚!睡得好又吃得好!會繼續嗎我的親愛?

關於柿。

小時候我們家門前有棵柿樹。那些柿一定要熟透才能吃,若不是就會澀(astringent)。吃了成口難受。 但熟透的柿很難搞,會吃得很狼狽。所以對柿不算有大好感。但漂亮,特別是滿樹是柿時。

卻喜歡吃柿餅。喜歡那個味道。就算長大了,每次見到柿餅就回憶起童年,想起那個味道,就想吃。(但事實是,大個後,對這些生果乾有點怕。不知乾淨不乾淨。)

幾年前發現有隻叫 fuyu(富有)的柿品種,吃法跟小時候的柿是完全不一樣。這隻柿是脆爽的,不澀,清甜。從此愛上。可惜是,屬寒性,寒底的我不能多吃。(試過一個星期每日吃一個,然後病了!)

原來柿是分澀和甘的品種。Fuyu 屬甘柿,我一直都只敢買這隻。這段日子,farmer's market 好多柿出現。上個星期,我不知發甚麼神經,買了個澀柿回來,只是因為我覺得它很悅目。(!)當然,澀到傻左。

還是吃甘柿保險吧。

Hachiya (澀) & Fuyu (甘) persimmons

Friday, November 29, 2013

秋意 Panna Cotta



買了這些 Weck 玻璃罐裝 baby food,但事實我第一樣就想到 it would be perfect for panna cotta。5.4oz 的罐,panna cotta 通常是 4oz 一份,剛好有位放 toppings。趁著感恩節,急不及待就要試。

第一次做這個帶有秋意,用 fuyu persimmons 做 toppings 的 panna cotta。自己想出來的,尚算滿意。下次留多點位放多些 toppings 會更好! 


甚少漲奶的我忽然奶有點兒漲。痛。

Thursday, November 28, 2013

On this Thanksgiving Day, something magical happened.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

小豬點解你咁硬頸。

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

後日就是感恩節嗎?有好多野要預備呀呀呀~~~
哈哈我就知小豬不會那麼容易就範的。不過情況不算很壞,只是未算好吧。似乎這條路還長著呢。(不過捱了這麼久,有進步就值得開心囉。不能太貪心吧。)

Monday, November 25, 2013

Useful Baby App



Ever since piglet was born, I have been tracking his sleep, feed, and diaper change. This "Sprout Baby" app has been a life saver. I even paid $5 to get the full version! (Which is not needed for tracking. Both my hubby and I paid for the full version so we can synchronize both apps.) 

I finally decided I no longer need to track his feedings and diaper changes. Because the feedings are pretty stable except the night feedings; (which I still track. Since I'm still tracking his sleep, so I do want to know the waking is for feeding or not.) and diapers, actually I could have stopped track that earlier, but somehow I just never thought of it. Maybe I was just used to track everything. It gives me a sense of "orderly," I guess. Since I feel so powerless for everything else.

But yes, for his sleep, I still track and make a chart out of it. A bit crazy. :P But again, it's very helpful to see his sleep pattern and make decision accordingly.

I had tried few other apps before decided on this one. Recommended!

這個星期的變動發展得好得令我難以置信。我在發夢嗎?!不敢開心太早,但想起可能就來有好日子過就忍不住心花怒放起來。(!)我終於熬出頭來了嗎? [淚]
小豬自己睡的第一夜,是他有史以來睡得最長的一夜!十二個半鐘!I'm truly amazed!(中間有醒過兩次食奶。)(真的是我兒子,喜歡自己一人?)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

大變動

陪小豬在他的房間睡了一個星期,今晚會回自己房間睡。有點感觸呀。他今日剛好七個月大啦。又,這個星期應該是我們都睡得最好的一個星期。小豬努力呀。
小豬已經兩日唔肯食 solid food,(試都唔試,)今日終於肯食了。(我又唔會擔心他餓的,只是每日煮好他又唔食,好浪費,同好灰下囉。)
I just accidentally found that you can attach photo/video to email directly on iPhone!!!! (Doh!)(I had been selecting photos from album then send via email. Which is different if you know what I mean!)

Saturday, November 23, 2013

小豬的同類初體驗。我的友。

友帶13個月大的兒子到我家。

不是存心要做比較,但,小豬與他差不多 size;體重一樣(可能還重一點點);手掌比他的大;手手腳腳當然都比他粗啦。(但他比小豬高啦。)他穿3號尿片;小豬已穿4號的!他跟小豬一樣,有三隻牙仔。

不過,人地好可愛。大大的眼睛。(小豬也可愛啦,但因為我是他媽嘛。)

+

友來到,拿著許多東西,手抱兒子。我接過她兒子,他就哭。坐在地上玩的小豬見到媽媽抱著另一個小 baby,馬上跟著哭起來,伸手要抱抱。

後友要到車上拿東西,留下兒子,我抱著他,又哭。坐在 high chair 的小豬本來好好的,見這情況又哭起來。我想放下友的兒子,不肯,見小豬哭,他哭得更厲害。小豬更慘,伸出手來,卻得不到媽媽的抱抱,越哭越淒涼。拆天一樣。哇,好漫長的幾分鐘。

+

友。兩個月前失去了大兒子。大兒子也是我見過少有會覺得可愛的小孩。這年半,過得不容易。我們甚麼都幫不了。見到她,可以做的只能給她幾個擁抱。瘦了許多,但她的笑容仍是那麼的甜美。
男人放一個星期假,本應很值得開心的。但我們要 sleep train 小豬。慘慘。

Friday, November 22, 2013

Introducing Solid Food (2)

+ Introducing Solid Food (1) +

To start baby solids, I think the biggest question may be, what should the baby eat, and when?

I made the following chart (roughly) according to the two books that I have (the numbers indicate months old of the baby):

WBFG SBF WBFG SBF
barley 4+ beef 8+
buckweat 8+ chicken 6+
dried bean 8+ 9+ fish 8+
flax 8+ pork 8+
kamut 8+ turkey 6+
kasha 8+ cheese 8+ 8+
lentil 8+ 9+ egg 8+ 7+
millet 8+ 6+ honey 12+
oatmeal 4+ 6+ juices 12+
pasta 8+ 10+ milk 12+
quinoa 8+ tofu 6+ 8+
rice 4+ 6+ yogurt 6+ 6+
asparagus 8+ 7+ apple 4+ 7+
beet 8+ 9+ apricot 6+ 4+
broccoli 8+ avocado 4+ 4+
brussels sprout 9+ banana 4+ 4+
carrot 6+ 7+ blueberry 8+ 12+
cauliflower 8+ 9+ cantaloupe 8+ 8+
corn 8+ cherry 8+ 12+
cucumber 8+ citrus 8+ 12+
eggplant 8+ 9+ coconut 8+
green bean 4+ 7+ cranberry 8+ 12+
greens 9+ fig 8+
kale 9+ grape 8+ 7+
leek 8+ honeydew 8+
onion 8+ 9+ kiwi 8+ 8+
orka 8+ mango 6+ 6+
parsnip 6+ nectarine 6+ 4+
pea 6+ 7+ papaya 6+ 6+
pepper 8+ 10+ peach 6+ 4+
rhubarb 9+ pear 4+ 4+
spinach 8+ 9+ persimmon 8+
summer squash 8+ 7+ pineapple 9+
sweet potato 4+ 4+ plum 6+ 4+
tomato 8+ 12+ prune 6+ 4+
turnip 8+ 9+ pumpkin 6+
white potato 8+ 7+ strawberry 8+ 12+
winter squash 4+ 6+ watermelon 8+


(Note: In SBF, "4+" is actually labeled as "beginner eaters.")


If you only want to get one book, I would suggest SBF. It contains probably all the information you want to know... perhaps too much so it's a bit overwhelming. (The book is more than an inch thick!) The WBFG has a website, so you don't really need to buy the book. But I like to compare information, use more than one source. The WBFG seems to have better recipes.

Unfortunately, both books will not tell you EXACTLY what to do. (Which was something I was looking for...) Every baby is different, so you have to decide how many meals and how much you are going to feed your baby. Generally start with one in the morning (8-9am), then add another one in the afternoon (4-5pm), lastly add one around noon (12-1pm).

I don't think you need to be too rigid to follow the chart as when to introduce what. Probably within a month should be okay. But do start with ones that are for 4 months or older (4+); and don't feed raw fruit to baby before 8 months.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Introducing Solid Food (1)

(This is for Jackie, but I thought it may be useful to whomever it may find.)

Here are the things I use to start solid food:

* OXO tot Sprout highchair (Green/Walnut) *


We love this high chair! It can be used for 3 stages, up to 5-year old. But importantly it looks quite nice and compact, very comfortable. Baby doesn't even need the harness to sit in it.

(Note: the green text in above image should be 6-36 months.)


* Boon swap baby utensils *


I did quite a bit of research before deciding on these. When I received them I was more than happy! They look nicer than the photo showed online. I so love them! They are the perfect size for beginner eaters. Well made! Love how long the feeding part is so food won't get stuck, easy to clean. It made of silicon so it's soft, sometimes baby likes to bite on it. The stainless steel side is good to scrap food off baby's mouth! Or use to stir food while reheating.


Green Sprout glass baby food storage cubes *

I didn't want to use plastic, and these seem to be the only glass cubes (of this size) on the market. While they are quite nice, (btw I love Green Sprout products,) good size (2 oz/4 tablespoons) to start solid food, but soon you will find them too small. Also four cubes are not enough even for two days of food. (Three meals a day.)

I thought about getting four more, or get ones that are bigger size (4-oz). I ended up didn't get either. Both aren't cheap, and you don't know what to do with them afterward. The only 4-oz size I found is by Green Wean, not thrill by the look and the color. (!) (Even baby products need to look pretty!)


* Weck mini mold jars *

Then I remember I once saw these glass jars in Wiiliams-Sonoma that I really like, but they come in a pack of 12, so I couldn't convince myself to get them. I went to their website, they got free shipping at the time, so I ordered them in no time!

I love them! They look gorgeous! (Aww I'm a glass jar fanatic! I got varies size of the Parfait jars. But if I had known the Weck jars I would have gotten them instead!) They can contain 5.4 oz. Important thing is, I can use them afterward!! And the price is cheaper than the Green Wean containers!

featuring my baby's food! :)


* OXO tot baby food freezer tray *


I'm still not sure if I will freeze baby food, the idea of "freezing food" doesn't sit well with me. But I bought this anyway because I may use it to freeze liquid (e.g. fruit juice). If not, it can have other usage.




* Skip Hop zoo bib *


These bibs are fantastic! You can wash them and will dry by the next feeding. They can also be folded into a little pouch!

But my baby likes to bite on it and makes a big mess. ~_~ So sometimes I rather not use it.



* ZoLi BOT XL straw sippy cup *

I started to introduce sippy cup to baby. But he's still learning how. He knows how to suck water up but doesn't know how to deal with the water! Most of the time he just let the water fall right out of his mouth! The selling point of these cup is, baby can sip in any positions, even upside down. But for me, they just look darn cool!




* pots & blenders *

I just use what I have. To cook, I use the butter warmer (1/2 qt) or my smallest saucepan (1.5 qt) depending on how much I'm making. To purée the food, I use a small blender or a handheld blender. I was tempted to buy those baby food machine, where it can steam AND blend the food in same container!! It seems quite convenient, but they aren't cheap, and I hate to have a useless item in my kitchen after six months. If I were to buy something new, I probably would invest on a good blender. 

For beginner eaters, you must use a machine to blend the food to the smoothest. Using a fork just won't do. (I tried!)


Introducing Solid Food (2) +

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

下雨天,我和小豬被困在家。灰。

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

小豬漸成長

自小豬識坐後,我開始有些「自由時間」!(耶~~)他可以自己玩一段頗長時間。多數我會在他可以望到我的範圍內活動。不過有時都會離開他的視線,只要隔陣叫聲他,讓他知道我在,就可以。

感覺小豬真的越來越大個了!他是有點脾氣,有點蠱惑,有時也很難搞。不懂自己睡,哭起來真的很要命⋯⋯ 但,多數我覺得他都算乖啦。(!)好傻豬,好喜歡大笑。有時真的好 sweet。真的好喜歡他。雖然日日對著他也不容易。(!)(想點!)

自把他搬進嬰兒房後,他居然睡得好了!!難以置信。他的睡眠也會自己變好嗎?!
我想,昨晚是我生了小豬後睡得最好的一晚。

Sunday, November 17, 2013

昨日把小豬搬去他自己的房間。十萬個不捨。But I think it's for the best for all of us。第一夜,還好。

Friday, November 15, 2013

Only in San Francisco

Today, San Francisco is transforming into Gotham City to make a 5-year-old leukemia patient's wish come true.


(Read about it here... or I'm sure you have heard about it already...)


I'm so incredibly touched by this. And feel so lucky to live in this great city.


Miles, wish you the best.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

小豬昨晚又回復醒四次。我都知係咁架啦。(慘既係我男人,因為另外兩次佢要負責囉。)

意外

在 FB 見到好久沒聯絡的友大著肚子。Sent 她 msg 恭喜她並贊她勇。(已有兩件。)誰知她說是意外,用了一段時間才接受到。(但她似是會生三個的人,我才贊她的。)

我想講,「第三個是意外」我還真的聽過不少!!是否大多數都是呢?!有時聽到我會驚呀大佬,怎麼有那麼多意外呢?我。不。想。有。意外。呀呀呀~~~ 聽過連男的「剪」了都有意外!!這真的是天意難違吧!!

雖然小豬真的超可愛的,但一個他就真的是夠了了了~~~

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

有時小豬會含情脈脈的望住我。好冧呀!

何時才能好好睡一覺?

昨晚好像是這兩個幾月來(自 4-month sleep regression 開始)小豬第一次沒有無故而醒。雖是仍醒兩次,但都是屬於餵奶時間。(但其實他是可以做到只吃奶一次的。)這些日子,除要吃奶醒外,還會無故醒多兩次。好彩有時是一次。因為他每次醒了,要抱很久才能放他落床仔,所以基本上是他每睡落床個幾鐘就會哭叫。開始時真的覺得好要命,但慢慢接受了原來是會慣的。又可能,其實小豬從來就未怎麼好好睡過。三個幾月後稍為好轉就到了四月的 sleep regression,所以,說來,自他出世後我也未好好睡過。(但其實我懷孕期都睡得不好!)我不會開心得那麼快。小豬蠻體貼的,折磨我們久了就會放我們一天假。當然我心中多麼希望昨晚不是。求求你,我的大帝,好好睡,放過媽媽爸爸,好嗎?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

我中了彩票!好多好多錢那隻!!⋯⋯ ⋯⋯ ⋯⋯ 然後朦朧中我聽到小豬在叫⋯⋯ 極不願意地睜開了眼睛。

Monday, November 11, 2013

今日小豬在街被個四、五歲的姐姐撩,係咁篤佢,引佢笑,搞佢既玩具。但小豬全程目無表情,當睇佢唔到。[汗]

Sunday, November 10, 2013

豬手


有時想,好在他夠胖。

身為媽媽,當你還有長輩,還有親朋戚友,「有沒有照顧好 baby」這種壓力不多不少還是會有的。在他的睡眠上,我們已經像是 complete failure。(在別人看來,我不會這樣想啦。)還好把他養得肥肥白白,就沒有把柄在這方面有話要我聽了。

(沒有啦,也沒有甚麼人敢給我說話聽啦。呵呵。)

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Uniqlo

新開的 Uniqlo,我幾乎每日推著小豬經過。格局很 Asian。

那些 down jacket 還真的有點吸引。但當你見到一個二個亞嬷嬸嬸在試甚至有些本身已經穿著,嗯,你真的想跟她們撞衫嗎?

我倒有點想買件 fleece jacket。便宜。比 Gap 六折更便宜。適合在家穿。(當然也不想出街與亞嬷撞啦。)

今日男人看中了件衫。普通到不能。主要是便宜!($12.95!)「真的比 Gap 便宜哩。」他說。(但喜歡的顏色居然沒有他的碼!)

不過,有些衣也貴啦。

某天,我聽到有些(似是高級)職員在說日語。

嗯,我想我終於知道如何正確讀「Uniqlo」了。因為店裡有廣播,會提到店名。(這點也很 Asian。)

我想,這店帶旺了整個 mall。
今個月有個重大的決定。十級的絞結中。

Friday, November 8, 2013

修理水喉,把 sink 下面的東西全部清出來,意外發現一對新的細碼手套。之前想買卻買不到細碼。也算是點小驚喜吧。

Baby Food

自從小豬開始食 solid food 後我變得忙了很多。這幾天我開始要餵他三餐。因為這兩個星期他食多了好多奶,不停好像很飢餓的樣子。Nursing 時間是之前雙倍!本來以為是 growth spurt,但已經兩個幾星期喔!(咦,這兩天有時又食少左奶,想點!)

以前以為食 solid food 就可以 nurse 少些,原來不是。(灰!)又要 nurse 然後又要餵他食 solid food。隔天一次過煮定幾餐,但食時還是要煮返熱和清洗,(我沒有微波爐!)真的多了許多功夫。

要自己煮 baby food 其實不是大問題,問題是煮甚麼?如何平均分配營養?如何安全和方便地處理 baby food?如何減少能源儘量不浪費?(!)嗯,還有最好有益得來又不難食。

暫時我還在摸索中,不過開始有點頭緒了。之前還真的有點頭痛。看書其實也不會很仔細告訴你怎樣做,因為每個 baby 不同。況且我也不是別人說甚麼我就照跟那種人,常會質疑。(哈哈。)


手頭有兩本書,會作比較。但我始終覺得,書只是用來參考的,要怎樣做還是靠自己啦。


見到小豬那麼喜歡食,亞媽我就欣慰了。

Thursday, November 7, 2013

My plumber (aka dad), "You shouldn't dump stuff down the sink." 

Me, "Then why have a garbage disposal?!"
Kitchen nightmare: sink clogged.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

抱著小豬正要出門,嘔到我同他自己成身都是!要命!(My jacket~~~)
I think little piglet is starting to have separation anxiety!! No~~~~~
近排男人的 insurance open enrollment,再看清楚,原來其中有個 plan 醫院只需給幾百!!點解去年我們沒有看清楚!!天啊~~ 唔見左幾千元!!(心有不甘地我還未付錢!)(汗)

Monday, November 4, 2013

小豬食 solid food 兩個幾星期。感到欣慰的是,雖然他遺傳不了媽媽的懶瞓豬基因,但應該有遺傳到媽媽的為食豬基因。

Sunday, November 3, 2013

1:15am 起身餵小豬。餵後抱著他大半個鐘放下床仔。看看手機,1:15am!再望多眼,真的仍是 1:15am!正以為自己神經錯亂之際才醒起夏令時間剛完結。

Saturday, November 2, 2013

我家門前的大南瓜又被偷!!(去年也是!!)是惡作劇還是怎樣。
如果真的要我選,一直我都比較喜歡小男孩。但,其實也限於五、六歲下。(!)過了那歲數後小男孩個樣就越來越似個「佬」,然後就不可愛了。有例外但很少。友的兒子十歲,真的覺得是有氣質的樣子。(?)希望小豬將來都是啦。

Thursday, October 31, 2013

哇睇返啲相,原來我懷孕時塊面係有漲到,(我一直以為沒有!) 而家塊面真係瘦左!!
It seems everyone is dressing up their kids for Halloween... Um, I'm really not into this kind of things...(點算,節日冷感的我有了小孩後是否要有所反醒呢?)

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

小豬今日冇痾過屎!(昨日也只是痾左很少。)今日見佢谷屎但冇得出。慘慘豬。好擔心呀。唔通係啲 sweet potato?!(千祈唔好呀,sweet potato 又好味又便宜!)

Butter Warmer


兩、三年前買這個 butter warmer 時都掙扎了一番。一來有點貴;二來問自己真的有必要嗎?

(Butter warmer 是 .5 quart/liter;而通常最小的 saucepan 都有約 1.5 quart/liter。)

Butter warmer 並不只是用來 warm butter 的,我就較少這樣用法。(我是用 toaster oven warm butter 的,覺得更方便。)通常用來 warm maple syrup,煮果醬。因為當你要煮少量食物,就是連最小那款 saucepan 都嫌大。


最近這個 butter warmer 大派用場。用它來煮 baby food 真的是一流!因為我每次都煮很少,想像不到如何用 saucepan 煮!

咳咳,其實我想講的是,我因此而暗暗好開心。(!)最中意物有所值,沒有買錯!哈哈!

(又,這個是出自 All-Clad 的,是有點貴,但質素是真的好。重點是,個柄不會熱。)

Monday, October 28, 2013

呢排小豬晚晚都漏尿,可能因為腹睡。想換隻尿片試試,買了 Pampers Baby Dry,話有十二個鐘 overnight protection。打開條片,聞到那陣香味我已經想暈。半夜餵奶仍是那麼難頂!!早上看看,還不是一樣漏了好多尿!!!唉。成包尿片點算家陣。
放小豬在大床中央,想著把垃圾掉了。行了一半轉頭一看,天啊~~ 小豬已經翻了幾個身滾到床邊!!嚇死亞媽我啦~~

Sunday, October 27, 2013

開始餵 solid food,講真,真的是頭都大。我。當然。是。自己。煮啦。問題是,煮甚麼;餵幾餐;每次餵幾多;如何最有效率去煮又不浪費。。。真的是好大的學問。買了兩本書,厚到呢。我還有那些關於睡眠的書未看完呀。唉。
哇小豬似乎好喜歡食野。(得到媽媽真傳。) 今日開始餵兩餐。他食得好快呀。狂食狂食。

Saturday, October 26, 2013

餵小豬 solid food 一個星期,今日忽然開竅了,懂得怎樣吞,也食多左好多。開心。
昨晚男人試 drowsy put 小豬落 crib。結果小豬喊到拆天,個樣真的變成成個豬頭咁。唉。

Thursday, October 24, 2013

幸運是


前一排不小心把支 essence 掉落地,個 pump 掉了出來。好在按返上去後似乎沒事,仍用得。

(個樽的設計是,除了用個 pump 擠出來,是打不開的。)

戰戰競競用了一段日子,終於,如我所料,在一個昏暗的早上(!)個 pump 不再 work 了!!嗚~~ 還有 1/3 未用呀。雖然不是甚麼天價貨,但對於一個節儉的主婦來說(!),也是蠻心痛的。

接著我做了件很淆底(?)的事。

我叫豬小姐拿去 Chantecaille 的 counter 問問怎樣打開個樽!當然個樽是打不開的,(也算是個 design flaw?)我是奢望,他們可憐我,給我一個折買過樽新的。豬小姐碎碎念的,說以前識那班 sales 已經不在啦,更何況都好久沒買過野,不知人地會否理會她。不過她說即管試下囉。不會死的。

然後,意想不到的事情發生了。個 sales 居然換了支全新的給她!!OMG!!(因為個樽真的打不開,而個 sales 話認得豬小姐。)(不過我舊年在那裏都進貢了許多銀兩啦。不過不過仍好幸運啦!)

我就當是上天彌補我這段日子所要經歷的黑仔事件吧。嘿。

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Mini Trip

昨日帶小豬一起去了 Napa 食午餐,都算是個 mini trip。

去時 nap 了近個鐘,很好。(當然是預好他的 nap time 出發啦。)

去到食食下奶就整鍋「傑野」給我們嘆下:超級漏屎。好在亞媽我早有預備,搞完一輪換好衣服,剛剛趕到預約的午餐時間。(SUV 的車尾換片真的好有用!值得買!)(!)

選了 Bottega,想去了幾次都訂不到位,今次 weekday 去所以輕易訂到。嗯,真的很不錯。


頭菜有炸魷魚和燒八爪魚。不好炸炸野的我狂吃個魷魚,好好味!八爪魚做到很「num」,我反而比較喜歡吃 rubbery 的哈哈,所以覺得這個一般。主菜我們都選了 pasta。好像真的好久沒吃過好味的pasta了。愛吃 fettucine 的我自然是選了它,很簡單但真的好吃。男人選了海膽龍蝦 pasta!那隻 pasta 好似蟲蟲呀。謝謝男人分一半海膽我吃。最後甜品是 fig apple tart 加 fig gelato,好好味呀!!(唉千萬別叫我寫食評!)

之後去了 Bouchon Bakery 買了一堆 pastry。有點感慨是,幾年前與男人去 Vegas,下榻 Venetian,裏面有間 Bouchon Bakery,每次出入都經過。那時見到隨便一件餅都要三個幾,就覺得好貴呀,唉連早餐都不捨得在那裏買。(!)現在想返,真的有點白癡吧。很窮嗎?所以呢,今次我是臉不改容地買了想吃的。 跟著就要回程了。只有兩個鐘 wake time 的小豬已過了他的 nap time。雖回程時才睡了半個鐘就醒了,但也好過沒有啦。

嗯,也算是沒有甚麼驚險的一個 trip 囉。

Sunday, October 20, 2013

寧靜晚餐


生後與男人的第一次單獨晚餐。我想,值得記下來吧。

男人兩個星期前就約定了個「sitter」。知道我這年來最挂念的是魚生,所以選了我們最愛去的壽司店。

定了六點的檯,但我們五點就出門口,所以還有點時間去逛了一會兒街。

去到我說,不用理會價錢想食就叫?好似很豪但有些極貴的還是不捨得。以為叫了許多,真的食到有點膩,張單一定很重手,但都比我們估計的少。好開心?!(!)

期間男人問我有沒有甚麼心事跟他說。我說你不會以為我不開心吧?他說不是嗎?我說你都傻的那樣的人與事值得我不開心嗎?嗯都怪我,跟他略提過後都不想再浪費時間在這些無聊事上所以也沒再跟他提過。

不想擾亂小豬的睡眠時間我們七點半就回到家了。雖然時間很短,但能夠輕鬆地吃餐飯,還可以談個心,又問下我那些無聊的問題,有幾個 moments 真的忘記了家中有隻小魔怪等著我們回去折磨我們,就夠了。

然後我們想,這樣的機會應該每個月都有一次吧?[發夢中]

Bubble Bath


Is there such thing as too much bubble bath?

Thanks for spoiling me.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Ordeal

Dearest my son, this is how mama got you into this world.

Two days passed the day of your supposed entry, mama went to see the doctor. She said you were still head high, if you weren't out in another 4 days, she will make you come out (i.e. induce you). Let's just say mama were worried. You were already measured big, and mama wanted to deliver you as natural as possible.

That day, not sure if you remembered, mama kept begging you to come out.

Being a good boy that you were (are you?!), that same night, you made your move!! Here's how it went down:

10:15pm (on 4/23) While relaxing on the sofa, mama felt a strong contraction. Never been so ecstatic about having pain!

mama was told, usually it takes a long time to be ready for delivery from the first contraction. So mama continued to lounge on the sofa.

10:45pm Contraction had already become 5 minutes apart. So fast!! Because the doctor told mama, under two conditions I will need to go to the hospital: 1, water broke. 2, contractions were 5 minutes or less apart; each lasts at least 45 seconds; and continued for an hour.  (which is called the 5-1-1.)

mama were quite excited! Wow you were really couldn't wait to come out!

So then mama proceeded to take shower, getting ready to go to the hospital. (Though kept thinking, if the labor went fast, really too good to be true!)

12:15am It had been 1.5 hours, I called the doctor, she said given that you were overdue, I should go to the hospital. Though she murmured you were head high that morning.

After drank a bowl of soup, papa and mama ready to go to the hospital.

12:50am The hospital was very quiet, we were the only ones there. The nurse checked mama out, umm... disappointedly it was only 1cm open!! You know, they won't admit mama unless it's at least 4cm open. The nurse asked what was the pain level (1-10), worried to be send home, mama said it was 6-7, when, honestly it was like a 5.

The nurse monitored your heart beat for half an hour, then told us to walk around for an hour.

2:30am We came back from the walk, during which the contraction had become stronger, now really became like 6-7. But still quite bearable. The nurse checked mama out again, still 1cm!!! Ohhh how disappointing that was!!! The nurse said, she will monitor your heart beat for another half hour, and after that, very likely we will be send home.

The contraction continued to escalate while your heart beat was being monitored.

2:50am My water broke!!! A huge gust of water rushed out and didn't seem to able to stop. (Along with some of your poo!) By this point, my pain level had suddenly sky rocketed to 100 fold!! (Really!) There was maybe only a minute of resting time between each contraction; and I started to shiver uncontrollably.

Yes, now they must admit mama. What a relief, we really didn't want to go home.

(From this point on, everything was a bit a blur to me. I asked papa to fill me in on some stuff afterward, this is the best I can remember.)

3:00am Before they moved mama to the delivery room, they needed to insert an IV line into mama's arm. After several failed attempts, I could tell the nurse was getting nervous... all the while I was screaming in pain and she was adding more to both of my arms! The nurse seemed to be relieved when she learned that another nurse from the delivery room will come...

Nurse Joan came, she looked experienced and well respected, mama was relieved too because I didn't want to be poke so many times on top of my contraction pain!!

But then, alas, even nurse Joan couldn't find a vein she could insert the IV line!! I couldn't help but asked, "What's going on?" She frowned to me, "you know you are ruining my reputation here right?" ... Well she too gave up, maybe seeing me in great pain, she didn't want to poke me too many times, she decided to insert the IV into the mid-section (where the arm bends) of my arm... little did I know then how much more pain I would suffer from that insert for the next 40 plus hours!! Because with the IV line there, I couldn't bend my arm at all (the machine will beep), actually couldn't even move!! From then on, it was like I lost one arm...

4:30am Nurse Joan put me on a wheelchair that covered with towels to absorb my nonstop leaking water, and rushed me to the delivery room on the second floor. She was running while pushing me!! By this time I was pretty much half-conscious, but in my mind so glad it was early in the morning so no one was there to see how awful I must had looked.

Once we were up in the delivery room, nurse Joan contacted the anesthetist to come, while she was setting up all the machines and monitors. 

5:00am The anesthetist came. After he had setup everything, nurse Joan had me sat up by the bed side, and she tightly hugged my entire upper body because I needed to be absolute still (from all the shivering) for the anesthetist to inject the epidural. 

It took a while to administer the epidural. After I don't know how long, maybe 10-15 minutes, suddenly I felt a huge pressure coming through my bottom!! I was horrified, "Something is coming out... I think my baby is coming out!!! I can feel his head~~~" I wanted to move, to get off the sitting position so I don't squash your little head... but nurse Joan held me tight and won't let me move... thank God the anesthetist said "almost done!" 

As soon as the anesthetist was done, I knew something had come out of me so I frantically roll myself over and screamed~~~ "What the heck was that?!?!"

Of course it wasn't your head. With my big tummy I couldn't see, nurse Joan told me it was a water sag. I was like "!!!!!!" I asked her if it was common. She said no, she rarely see a water sag as big as that. She also said I had enormous amount of water which was not common too. 
Papa took a look of the water sag and showed me a disgusted face. I told him to take a picture of it. At first he refused and said I shouldn't look, but I begged him to let me see it... yes it was weird...

I heard that when the needle went in it would be painful. Well, with the contraction, I barely can feel the needle going in.

5:30am After the epidural went in, the pain slowly went away. Nurse Joan said I should rest and get some sleep. I wish I could. My right arm was attached to a blood pressure machine, which it automatically checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes. How can I sleep with every 15 minutes of interruption? On top of that, the other machine kept beeping whenever I bended my arm... heck even I swore I didn't even move it still beeped!! Every time it beeped, we had to call the nurse in to make it stop. We kept apologizing; and the nurse did the same. Needless to say it was super annoying.

7:00am Dr Yee came in to to check on me. I was a bit surprised she came so early. She told me it was about 5-6 cm opened. I thought we had good progress.

9:00am Dr Yee came in again. Umm... this time no progress at all, same as two hours ago. She told the nurse to give me some Pitocin to help the process. I was reluctant to take Pitocin, but it didn't seem like there's any other way.

At some point, nurse Joan had ended her shift, and nurse Trisha came to help mama.

All the while, the machine kept beeping at my left arm. Nurse Trisha also told mama if the pain escalated, I could push a button to burst the pain killer dose. I didn't want to but I did push it couple of times.

11:00am Dr Yee came to check on mama again. I begged for good news, but there was none. Still 5-6 cm opened only.

Then Dr Yee broke the news: she recommended to have a c-section to get you out.

Needless to say mama was shocked and refused to accept this was happening. Dr Yee explained, normally she would have recommended c-section two hours ago, but knowing mama so she tried the Pitocin first. But since no progress in two hours, plus your head was still high, also the fact you were overdue, I should really go with c-section.

I wished she had told me two hours ago there was a possibility of a c-section. At that point I just couldn't accept I needed one. I begged the doctor to let me (and you) to try a little longer. She consented because both mama and you were under good conditions, she had the nurse to add more Pitocin and let us try another two hours.

During this time, mama and papa talked, though there weren't much to discuss. As much as mama wanted to bring you to this world naturally, we need to do what's best for you in the given situation. If we tried too long you would get stressed out, which was not good either. We really didn't have much a choice if nothing progress in the the next two hours, but mama conceded that c-section would be the only thing we could do.

1:15pm Dr Yee was not back. I called the nurse and was concerned. I was still hoping for good news. The nurse said Dr Yee was running a little late but she can check my cervix.

No progress.

I could wait for Dr Yee to come to check again before making my decision, or the nurse could start preparing for the surgery now, and everything would be ready when the doctor arrived. 

I told her to go ahead to prepare the surgery.

Dr Yee arrived shortly after. She seemed she knew there was no progress but she gave me another check anyway. 

Same. So surgery it was.

2:00pm Mama was already in the operating room.

By this time mama hadn't slept more than 30 hours!! I was so tired I hardly could keep my eyes open.

2:15pm They started to operate on mama.

They allowed papa to come watch, but papa couldn't really see anything; they had a big blanket up from my chest. Mama was so tired couldn't even open eyes to see papa, but I know papa was next to me.

The last thing I remember was the doctor was telling papa when they plan to cut me open, and I yelled, "Please don't tell me when!!" Even though mama couldn't feel the pain but I still could feel the doctor's hands on me!

2:50pm Papa was holding you next to me. I slept through the whole thing! But I was still so sleepy that I barely opened my eyes to give you one peak. I wanted to look at you longer but my eye lids were so heavy.

You weighted 8lb 1oz and 20 inches long. Such a big baby. The doctor also told mama that your head was at an angle to the birth canal, so there was no way you could have come through!! But you really tried cause your head had turned into cone-like. So glad we didn't delay any further to bring you out.

They had to bring you to the nursery to do checkups, and papa went with you.

I was half sleep half wake while they closed me up. I could hear the doctors talking; I heard some suction noises. I wanted to keep myself awake to know what's going on, but I was too tired.

3:30pm The operation was done. The anesthetist, who stood next to me the whole time, asked me how I felt. Immediately I felt pain on the right side of my abdomen; I was a bit scared and told the anesthetist. But he said it was normal. (What?!?!) I also felt nauseous, a bit disoriented at the time.

4:00pm I was moved to the recovery room. They needed to make sure mama was doing okay after the surgery before moving me to the postpartum room. 

(Later my attending nurse told me, at the recovery room nurse to patient is one-to-one; but in the postpartum room is four-to-one, so I should stay as long as I needed.)

Upon arriving I felt so nauseous I began to vomit. But since I didn't eat anything almost 24 hours, only some water came out.

The IV line continued to cause the machine kept beeping. My blood pressure was too low and it needed to go back up before I could leave the recovery room. The nurse told me to keep breathe in and out strongly but I was so tired I kept forgetting. And when my blood pressure dropped to an undesired level, another machine would beep. Sigh.

The nurse asked me if I want to meet you here or wait till I go to the postpartum room. Of course as soon as possible, I said. 

5:30pm Papa brought you in. Ohh baby you didn't look like a newborn at all, you were huge. How did you fit into mama's tiny body? 

We had some skin to skin time. While you laid next to mama, you naturally started to search for milk!! Wow that was amazing!!

6:30pm Mama's blood pressure finally went back to the normal level, and was moved to the postpartum room.

。 。 。

From this point on, I can't really remember all the details or timeline. 

Upon arrived, the nurse wrapped my legs with "stimulate mats," (haha I don't know the medical term!) it would stimulate (shake) my legs every 20 minutes so the blood wouldn't clog. (Which means can't sleep with that thing on.)

I started to breastfeed you every two hours. My left arm continued to cause problems, I couldn't even use it. With my c-sec wound, I only could lay you in bed and use my right arm to hold you. 

The next morning, the nurse couldn't stand the beeping from my arm and decided to reinsert my IV line. Guess where she put it? On top of my hand! It was painful but at least I could finally move my left arm!! 

。 。 。

I guess I can go on and on, such as you had a mur mur in your heart; (thank God that turned out nothing!) you had jaundice; my milk didn't come in till we went home (on the 5th day); my blood pressure was low; my legs were all swollen; and my arms... they were bruised for couple of weeks...

But we made it. The important thing is, baby you are healthy. 

This was just the beginning. So much have changed after you came into mama's life. Mama continues to be sleep deprived for months, but mama loves you so much, I just want to give you the best.

Love,
Mama




PS: It took me 6 months to write this!! Haha.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Boon Spoons


After an intensive search (!) for baby's first spoon, I decided on these.

I was a little worried when I ordered them online cuz I had never seen the real thing. But they turned out better than the pic showed online.

I really like them!!

Change Friends


見到這個,會心一笑。
喜歡十月的SF,是一年最好天氣的月份吧?幾乎日日都和暖、陽光普照。我也方便日日帶小豬出去走一走。(又,真的喜歡我們的 stroller。沒有買錯哩!)
為左慳$10買了件粉紅(加褐色)點的 sleep sack 俾小豬。(!)(另有綠色和藍色但沒減價。)睇相覺得,都唔係好粉紅唧。問過幾人意見都說OK啦。(!)誰知收到後,嗯, 好粉紅咁囉。點先。

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

「奇跡」呢樣野,只會發生一次才叫奇跡吧。

Monday, October 14, 2013

小豬開始中意 dump 野。慘。
昨晚把小豬 sleep on tummy,然後小小的奇蹟發生了:他只是肚餓醒了一次!(之前三、四次!)我想,他是喜歡 sleep on tummy 吧!雖然有點擔心,但唯有試讓他那樣睡囉。
昨晚有連續五個鐘不用起身,也沒醒過。(有試過小豬沒有醒但我就不停醒!)生左後未試過吧?!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

換了乾淨的床單。放小豬上去,馬上嘔。咁多謝啊亞仔。

Friday, October 11, 2013

我發覺原來BB仔真的好容易吸引人的!我每次同小豬出去都會被人撩。亞媽我固然是自閉驚驚,個仔都唔好得去邊!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

我而家成日用 milk 既手語來氹小豬食多啲奶。好多時都落答。好豬頭哦!

Monday, October 7, 2013

今日的體重應該係過去五年的新低!!
其實小豬都幾乖的,又好 sweet。只不過唔識自己睡之嘛。(!)但我相信,只要給他時間,他會學懂的!
小豬現在識得嗲人。好冧!

Saturday, October 5, 2013

雖然小豬有點難搞,但他真的是個很搞笑和很開心的BB。每日對住他當然有累的時候,但其實充滿歡樂的。有甚麼不開心的事,望著他就會忘記了。

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

When you think things couldn't get any worse. We had another record breaking night. I thought we went thru hell before, but compare to now it was just meh. :-/
抱住小豬睡了個半鐘一放下床仔還是哭了。平時會即刻抱起以防他哭得太厲害以至醒了。今晚忽然不想即刻抱起,看看他怎樣。結果呢,狂哭不已。抱起後還哭了一個鐘。當然完全醒曬。再過多一個鐘才氹返他睡。累呀。唉,試試試,試乜鬼呀。搞到大家冇得睡。慘。

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

今日有人問我個baby係咪唯一既一個。我答,係,一個就夠。然後那人說,「 Ahhh you're so funny!」下?我哪裡搞笑呢又?

Thursday, September 26, 2013

下星期男人開始新工,我的好日子也將會結束。(但身為一個賢妻我很支持他的決定。)(!)(老公,真的!)

Swaddle

幾天前我地決定唔再 swaddle 小豬睡覺。頭兩晚相安無事。哇我地開心到呀~ 以為脫難了!唉。第三晚,完全係想死,未試過那麼慘。十個小時有七個是我地抱著他睡的!因為一放下或睡15-45分鐘就哭。以為他只是不舒服所以睡得不好。第四晚又是一樣!半夜決定再 swaddle 返,果然沒事!唉。又返返去 square one 囉。

Thursday, September 19, 2013

昨日與小豬去mall。坐著休息時有個婆婆走來逗小豬玩,又問了我一堆問題。其一係,「仔定女?!」我:⋯⋯ 〔汗〕〔汗]〕 (後來小豬望著婆婆扁嘴,嚇到婆婆快走。)
總結下今年在 Amazon 既花費,係二千五大洋!!〔暈〕〔暈〕(90% 係BB嘢!!)

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

〔乖仔系列〕前一排,小豬好中意食完奶最後會咬乳頭。(其實也不算咬吧,像是猛力吮然後扯住。)每次我會大聲喝住,做痛苦表情,篤佢面珠。有時佢會好迷惘望住我,有時會笑以為我同佢玩緊。(!)咁我都有擔心佢誤會我唔俾佢食奶。 但,佢好像真的明!!這幾天都沒怎樣再做。不得不驚嘆小孩的理解能力!
In case you are wondering, we were back to hell last night. I admire how positive I'm still feeling right now… … (Becasue the little devil transforms back to a sweet little angel every morning.)

Monday, September 16, 2013

小豬昨日都算叻叻。因為個生日會正是他的午睡時間,所以我們都有點擔心。去時睡著了,車停了都沒即刻醒。(奇蹟!)去到那麼驚嚇(!)場面也沒哭。回程在沒有 white noise 既情況下居然咬著 Sophie 在最後十分鐘車程睡。著。 了。!!(呢個真的是奇蹟!)還有應該是第一次坐車沒有哭。小豬大個仔啦!
昨日去了參加人生第一個在 activity gym 搞的小朋友生日會。我的感覺是:驚!驚!驚!好驚!(亞仔呀亞仔,求求你千萬不要媽媽幫你搞這種生日會喔,媽媽會好想死。)
經過地獄就會(稍為)明白那些晚晚在地獄的媽媽爸爸心情。就得感恩其實小豬的情況不算最差。
過了三晚地獄後,昨晚情況稍為好轉。希望在今晚。
望著睡了的小豬會忍不住偷偷吻他的面珠。

Friday, September 13, 2013

Brought back all memories of those early hellish days. It's that bad.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The 4th month sleep regression monster is so real. Will it go away?
現在吃好邪惡既野都臉不改容還要一點內疚感都冇。

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Sometimes. Sometimes I wish hubby and I could have met sooner so we could spend more time together till the little one comes along. Life. There's no perfection.

Monday, September 9, 2013

小豬大概三個半月時開始牙肉痛。那麼細既人仔真的慘慘,那時連 teether 都未識揸,只識狂咬自己的手手。個個都說,那有那麼快出牙仔架。這個月來,他的 motor skill 日漸進步,也已懂揸住 teether 咬了。今日,我發現了他的第一隻牙仔!!(我慘了,他呢排開始咬乳頭!)

Friday, September 6, 2013

是日飲茶。某點心亞姐同我地講:「哇眨下眼就咁大個啦!」我,微笑回應。亞姐繼續:「冇幾耐前你仲大住肚……」我,繼續微笑。亞姐:「都四個月喇哇?」我內心震驚,表面鎮定:「係啊。」繼續微笑,但頗驚訝點解佢會記得我個仔係四個月大!雖然我地係常客,但呢位亞姐係第一次同我地講野的!
昨晚想挑戰個仔唔 swaddle 佢瞓。FAILED。(最後係狂喊收場。唉。)

Thursday, September 5, 2013

今日揹住小豬出去散步。途中迎面而來的車中的男人對著我豎起個大拇指。我以為我眼花,但街上沒其他人。唔明點解喔。
男人剛在餐廳見到個同我地小豬一樣 size 既 baby,但他已經識坐 high chair。有點羨慕就問個媽媽 baby 幾大。原來人地已經九個月大了!〔汗〕〔汗〕

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

我家小豬

我家養了隻小肥豬。

在四個月的 checkup 小豬已經 double 了出世時的體重,十六磅了!!(非常重手。)

看他的臉還真的看不出他是那麼的胖。但他的小手是漲卜卜的;手臂一節節,被他嫲嫲笑是蓮藕手。(真的似!)大脾…… 完全是肥豬腿。嗯,還有個肚腩仔。(汗)

常被問他吃很多嗎?因為是直接餵人奶,我真的不知他吃多少。但我就不覺得他吃得特別多。其實他一開始時有 latch on 問題,差不多到兩個月才見穩定。兩至三月間常 on milk strike,中意狂哭和不肯吃。三至四個月間非常的 distracted,每吮幾口就停一次,望我望周圍,沒有心機吃。吮奶時間是之前的一半。再加上經常嘔奶,(多則嘔一、兩安士出來,)經常頂住個胃不舒服食下停下,每次食都幾乎同一時間痾便便…… 真的是問題多多,每次餵他又氹又逼才食的!

噢〜〜 我真的不知他為何還可以這麼胖!

好好摸的小肥手

Monday, September 2, 2013

搬床仔事件

​千萬個不情願,還是把BB床搬進我們房間。

也不知是甚麼原因,現代人(?)都似乎很抗拒與BB同房。(?)(還是只有我這樣想﹖)

未生時,覺得讓BB同房睡三、四個月已經是很大的讓步。因為BB床不易搬來搬去,要整張拆了才能搬,所以一開始沒打算搬BB床進我們房間;既然只是暫時的,(搜集了各方意見,)就決定讓BB睡 playyard 。後,天有不測之風雲(!),BB有嚴重睡眠問題,我們馬上買了個可以連接我們的床的 co-sleeper 給BB睡。(類似 bassinet 的 size。)但隨著BB日漸膨脹的身形,他已不能再睡 co-sleeper 了。

但,我們不能想像現在就讓BB自己一人睡自己房間。

一:還要餵夜奶,不同房間只是拿自己來玩。(說真的,未生時我原來從沒想過有樣野叫做「餵夜奶」!)

二:想不到有甚麼好的原因現在就要BB自己一人睡。可以訓練他獨立?嗯,他只是一個幾個月大的人仔,他要依賴父母也是理所當然的,獨立來幹嘛?況且,他媽媽我,還不是跟父母睡到兩歲,(到我妹出世)後跟嫲嫲睡到十歲,不但是同房更是同床;(家貧,那來那麼多房間?那來的床仔呢?)不也是獨立到不能再獨立那種。

三:其實除了自己的心理障礙,想不到讓BB同房睡有甚麼不妥。(可能是我個人需要極多私人空間,)感覺是讓他入侵太多私人空間了。本來想,只是幾個月嘛,很快就過了,將就將就還可以。但如搬BB床進來,意味著不知何時何日才能搬走。(男人說,這種事情當然是見步行步啦。唯有希望,不用待過久啦。)又,架床仔都幾大下,整間房的位置要為它而變動。(有強逼症的我……)BB的東西也擺滿房間…… (強逼症的另一挑戰。)但,帶得他來到這個世上,難道還想過以前的生活嗎?

嗯。

所以…… 趁著這個長週末,我們拆床搬床,(本已砌好放在BB房,)好大工程。發現,把BB房佈置得靚靚原來是沒用的,那不是他需要的。他比較需要接近媽媽爸爸。

除開個人問題,(!)實際上最擔心的是不知小豬的反應如何。要知道,之前的 co-sleeper 是緊貼我們床邊的,他差不多像睡在我旁邊,是可以望到我,而我也可以輕便就摸到他的。但BB床大很多,不能貼著我們的床擺…… 不知小豬習慣不習慣呢。

好擔心(沒有得睡)。

Sunday, August 25, 2013

聽講好多 babies 都中意坐車甚至會熟睡。但點解小豬多數都喊到拆天。今日喊足45分鐘!我既頭爆炸左。(真係好怕帶佢出街!)
昨晚 baby 好似係第一次無端端半夜喊醒。(一向係肚餓才醒的。)昨日剛好四個月大。難道呢個就係傅說中可怕的「4 month sleep regression」?!好驚呀!

Friday, August 23, 2013

亞仔今日被吉四針,喊到成個豬頭咁,(上次只喊左幾聲!)睇到亞媽我好肉赤。 又,四個月 double 左 birth weight!
再講產後瘦身。真的不但沒刻意減肥,還比以前食多 25-50% 野!(例如以前食半碗飯,而家滿一碗!)頭一個月更是食左好多肥膏野!(以前一定不會食!)而家更是不會避忌,食多左甜點糕點。畢竟自己連廿八三十二都過好久,能有這樣的成果實在是出人意料。可能是我個仔大食,將啲肥膏吸走曬!〔偷笑〕〔偷笑〕
嗯,今日再試多次(大一cup)個bra又OK喎。(之前係夜晚試。)可能真係會變大變細?(係咪冇咁想打我哩?)(我覺得而家剛好,其實唔大的,太大唔啱我身型 啦。)(又,我發現哩,胸大都好慘。跳時有點辛苦。又好聚熱的!睡覺時會熱到 濕曬!新經驗呢!=_=;)(!)

Thursday, August 22, 2013

〔不要羨慕我系列〕網購了大一cup的bra,好逼呀~~~ 難道升了兩cup?!(ok明白。遲下會打回原型,但!!)生左四個月,體重比未懷孕前輕了五磅。(OK 之 前是肥!)沒有做過運動只是每天揹著十幾磅行幾個鐘咁囉。

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

點解我個仔既樣成日都滿懷心事咁。有時瞓瞓下仲會嘆氣喎。
我奶奶話我個仔隻手係蓮藕手。又幾似喔!〔哈哈〕〔哈哈〕

Friday, August 9, 2013

我既仔既 cradle cap 好臭呀〜〜〜 幾時先散呀〜〜〜
友說,她的同事本來屬微波仙子一位,但餵完人奶後沒有返回原形。咁我就開始一直幻想自己自此後也不再回復微波仙子身份,企圖買現尺碼的bra。(其實已經買了個但考慮緊是否退了買個便宜的戴下就算囉。)(我真的好喜歡我而家對姊妹呀點算啊?!)

Thursday, August 8, 2013

趁著今天太陽出來了,光線比較好,而小豬看落又幾可愛,就拿起相機幫他影返幾張相。啪啪啪啪啪。正滿意小豬的合作,似乎都有所收穫,誰知一望,發現ISO原來調左800。心中馬上XYZ@$&#%@。

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

昨日小豬忽然第一次卡卡大笑!(好大聲嗰隻!)我地呆左。原來係我摺一張紙發出既聲音令佢笑。咁…… 我地梗係唔會放過呢個大好機會,咪狂揉張紙囉…… 哇~~~ 小豬跟住卡卡大笑!!我地狂揉佢就狂笑,笑到停唔到!!(但今日再整已經冇效了!)〔哈哈〕〔哈哈〕〔哈哈〕
今日男人放假然後幫我揹仔,但我居然走左去整個 blog 版面。得架啦我。(咩~~ 真係好耐冇搞過好悶呀。〔委屈〕)

Sunday, August 4, 2013

昨日,姑仔:咦你塊面瘦左好多喔。我:係?!…… 但同上次(兩星期前)見你好似輕左一、兩磅喳喔。姑仔:但明顯塊面係瘦左!我::O :O :O 。。。 今日,我試下懷孕前的牛仔褲,我。著。得。落。啦。!!:O :O :O

Friday, August 2, 2013

友給了個 used bumbo 我們。男人把小豬放入去,差啲攞唔到佢返出來!!!〔狂笑〕〔狂笑〕〔狂笑〕 小豬有冇咁大舊呀!!!〔汗〕

Earth Mama Angel Baby


I can't say enough how much I love their stuff. Before I decided to use them, I looked into several "natural" brands. What won me over at the end was, I feel the people behind these products (seem to) really care; they want to make the best products possible. Also, they aren't that pricey and easy to hold of. (Amazon and my local stores have cheaper price than their website; but I was able to catch them when they had 30% & 40% off, no tax and free shipping! Woohoo!)

Here's a list of things I have:

For baby:
  • angel baby oil: I read that babies should only use baby oil for the first 6 months. I only use it once or twice a week after bath.
  • angel baby lotion: Haven't really start to use yet, but my baby has minor rashes lately, I heard this is also good for rash so I apply it on the rash.
  • shampoo & body wash: I have both the lavender and non-scent; I like the lavender better!
  • angel baby bottom balm: If redness appeared, it would disappear within a day after applying the balm. Sometimes even there's no redness I just put some on. It's also good for all sorts of things, such as burns, cuts, insect bites, and rashes on other parts of the body.
  • angel baby bath blossoms: Haven't used yet, but look forward to.

For mom:
  • natural stretch oil: I used it for the last 2-3 months of my pregnancy, when I found this brand. I like this better than the one I used previously. I didn't have stretch mark, (but I think it's genetic,) but it's good for moisturize the belly. It can get itchy.  
  • earth mama body butter: I love this! Always looking for a good body lotion, and I think I found one. I think I will continue to use it.
  • mama bottom balm: Bought this prepared for my "natural birth." But also can use it when there's itchiness down there. :P
  • new mama bottom spray: Also bought this for "natural birth." Later I found it also can be used for baby bottom. So I sometimes spray some into baby's bottom Hehe. (Don't wanna waste it.)
  • c-mama healing salve: Bought this immediately after I came back from the hospital. I put it on my incision twice a day. Of course I wouldn't know how effective it is until some time later.
  • natural nipple butter: Must get for breastfeed moms! See my previous post about it. I also discover that it's also good for eczema healing on baby's face!!! :O
  • organic milkmaid tea: I bought two boxes before baby came. I only drink it before my milk supply established, and when I felt I didn't have enough milk. There was a boost of milk after I drank, but I didn't want to overuse it. Your body should be able to naturally build up the milk supply. (I still have half of box left.) I actually like how it tasted!
  • earth mama lip balm: I've a lip balm that I LOVE, which I couldn't live without, but it wasn't cheap, so I tried this, which is pretty good for that price!

You can check out their website here. Do read their reviews, some products have multiple usages.

Every Friday, they would announce one item 50% off that day. Occasionally they have big sale. Since they are in Oregon, it's tax free!


PS: I don't get anything from them, simply just want to share the good stuff. :)

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Reading about "growth spurt." I haven't pay much attention because I never noticed it in my son, though apparently he should have three already. Maybe he always eats a lot and sleeps poorly!! Now I'm fearful for the 4-month sleep regression. How can things get worse than now?

決擇。不回頭。

眨下眼四個月過去了。我的 maternity leave 也完結了。月中時正式遞了辭職信,正確來說,八月我就正式地沒有了工作。

不捨?沒有。可能根本就沒有時間去想捨與不捨吧。

這個期間有沒有 second thoughts?有。當 baby 非常難搞時,有質疑自己是否適合當全職媽媽。

不知其他媽媽是怎樣來決定成為一個全職媽媽的。我,老實說,不是因為喜歡湊BB而決定做的。就算現在,如果你問我,享受湊B嗎?不。真的辛苦到嘔。有時覺得自己真的不行了。(或許上天是公平的。祂讓我們輕易地懷上,但自此後,我沒怎過過好日子。懷孕期辛苦;現在個B又特別的難湊。)我也問過自己千萬遍,要不給別人湊吧…… 無奈這更是我萬萬做不到的。性格使然,接受不了把自己的事情假手於人,更何況是自己的一塊肉。(!) 想像不到如何將他交給別人。自己的也覺得湊得那麼辛苦,我又如何期待別人能用相同的心思去湊他呢?既然生得他出來,就有責任將最好的給他吧。

所以,為何選擇做全職媽媽?因為我不能不這麼做。對我來說,在決定要他時,這已經是個附帶條件了。

。 。 。

不過,辛苦歸辛苦,難湊歸難湊。我個B基本上是個很開朗的BB。亞媽我也當然覺得他十分的可愛,無論樣子或性情。(雖然我仍然期望他不要像媽媽那麼麻煩那麼硬頸,還是像爸爸溫和那會好點吧。)他不難搞時我也很享受與他一起的哈哈。

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

When you have a difficult baby, it's easy to feel like a failure as a parent. But you should never go there.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

昨日睇到話餵母乳第三至六月係可以減肥減得最勁。我心諗,係唔係啊,唔好氹我呀。因為自從減回懷孕前體重就一直徘徊在那…… 誰知…… 今日就跌了磅!已經低過懷孕前!哇如果來緊呢三個月可以繼續減落去咁就發達啦!!我唔係好貪心,十磅夠啦!!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

三個月大既小豬已經15磅。(三個月啦﹗﹗) 亞媽我表示抱佢有困難。

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

最近心思思好唔好幚亞仔加返個 middle name。因為每次填表都空左 middle name 一欄,怪怪的。當初沒有,因為一來,諗一個已經十分頭痛還要諗多個?!二來,我覺得 middle name 的作用係避免與人同名同姓。但其實我仔個名應該不會撞吧?嗯……

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Baby has eczema on his face。慘慘。〔淚〕〔淚〕〔淚〕No wonder he kept scratching his face against my chest while sleep. At night while sleep in crib he kept shaking his head violently!! (He's swaddled.) must be very itchy!! 好可憐呀。

餵母乳恩物

我是餵母乳的。

有時間的話我都想分享一下餵母乳的經驗,但(不知自己幾時才有時間寫,)現在比較想推薦一隻 nipple butter 給也在餵母乳的你你你。

生之前聽了不少關於餵母乳的艱辛;其一是乳頭會如何受苦。那時尋找適合的嬰兒皮膚產品,發現一隻感覺很不錯的牌子,而它也有孕婦和新媽媽產品。當時趁著有折扣就買了一些給寶寶和自己。其中一樣就是這個 nipple butter


生後,沒有很踴躍地用。一來太多事情要兼顧;二來也沒有想到真的是需要,所以記得就搽下。不久,乳頭果然開始痛。輕則只是有點兒不舒服;重則是入心的刺痛。那時才開始勤力地搽,每次或隔次餵完奶都搽一搽。

嗯,是真的很有效。

後來沒事了,懶人的我就搽少了,好像一直都沒有再痛過。再後來,每天只在沖涼後搽一次。

聽說餵人奶乳頭會變形(?)變黑? 但我的很正常的樣子,好像跟生(或懷孕)前沒什麼分別。(雖然我也不太記得懷孕前是甚麼樣子。) 不知是否跟這個 nipple butter 有關啦。

其中一樣我很喜歡的是,這個 nipple butter 是食得的﹗﹗(它有淡淡的可可粉的味道。) 這一點很是重要吧?﹗若不是,每次餵奶都要抹乾淨想起都很煩吧? 另一點是它不含 lanolin 成份,聽說不好的哦。(但有些 nipple cream 會寫明有 lanolin, as if it's a good thing,我不是很明啦。既然有說不好那就最好不要有囉。)


下次可以介紹下這隻牌子其他我有用的產品。


PS: 我沒有得到這牌子任何利益,是真心很喜歡所以想分享。

Monday, July 22, 2013

終於收到醫院的單。是五萬六美元!! 如果沒有保險,真的不能生仔吧。不過就算有保險我都要付幾千。唉。(那麼貴也是因為我首先是自然生,然後再開刀,所以雙重上。留院每晚五千! 麻醉差不多四千。我覺得最離譜是那個「recovery room」,(就是開刀後會停留一會兒才去病房的地方,有其他人在。) 七千幾!!)

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Last night my son cried hysterically, at the top of his lung, to a point he was shaking... (he used to do that a lot when younger, but haven't seen it for a while…) I felt my heart was breaking… my tears almost rolled out had I not able to console him to calm down sooner.
是日聽到男人對小豬講:「細B點解你咁掹呀?係咪學左媽媽呀?」 〔哼〕〔哼〕〔哼〕

Friday, July 19, 2013

小豬已經開始著6-12月大的衫。想點!!(未夠三個月大呀!)
兩個月已經回復懷孕前體重。(但肚腩仍在!)比意料中快喎,畢竟我這種年紀,還怕恢復不了。不過如果你好似我咁,每日揹住十幾磅走幾個鐘,都好難不減磅吧!不過我懷孕前重了幾磅,(剛去完法國嘛。)那之前又是體重高峰期…… 所以,最好減多十磅啦!而理想最好是十五磅啦哇哈哈!(發夢中)

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

週日第一次放下小豬與男人出街…… 去買餸!!哈哈!其實沒甚麼特別感覺。又,好久沒揸過車,所以我想揸下。因為是新車又係大車,有點兒不慣。男人常說,「這是你的車啊。」係囉,要揸慣啲遲下先可以載小豬周圍去玩嘛。

Thursday, July 11, 2013

做媽媽的,會為成功從娃娃鼻孔挖出一舊鼻屎來而感到自豪。

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

聽講 sensitive 既 bb 會聰明啲架。唯有咁諗囉。

Sunday, July 7, 2013

個仔家陣興食完一邊奶就唔食。想點呢。(就算我用哀求眼神望住佢,佢都係唔好意思咁舔下個乳頭,對住我笑:媽媽我唔食。)

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

好煩個仔唔肯飲我啲奶都唔知係因為食左乜!!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

幸運兒

認識我的人的略知一二,我是那種追求自然的人(?!?),分娩嘛,當然要越自然越好,可以的話最好連麻醉藥都不用。(那我又未癲到話一定不用。)

但世事嘛,又豈能盡人意。

寶寶沒能如期到達,是有擔心的。怕他遲太久要催生;因為他偏大,怕催生都出不來要開刀。。。

嗯。

最後寶寶也只是遲了兩天就開始作動。當時心裡面蠻高興的。陣痛從一開始就非常密,兩個鐘後已出門去醫院了。途中還能跟男人談笑風生,感覺也不算很痛,心想可以不用麻醉藥吧。

去到醫院才知原來才開了一度,怪不得。擾攘了一番,過了一、兩個鐘,雖越來越痛,但還是一、兩度。護士說,再 monitor 個 BB 心跳三十分鐘,就要遣返我回家了。(因為要開到四度或羊水穿醫院才收。)那時是零晨二、三點,真的不想回家等呢。

Monitor 心跳期間,越來越痛。二十分鐘後,羊水穿了。(謝天謝地!)從那刻開始,那個痛是一百級跳!!陣痛之間不知有沒有一分鐘可喘氣的時間。除了痛之外,還全身發抖,好似發羊吊一樣!

又擾攘了一番,迷糊中,聽到護士問我打不打算用 epidural。我正想答她「如果可以的話我不想打,可以再看看才決定嗎?」就已經聽到身邊那位仁兄洪亮的聲音答「YES!!」當時的我,是有想掙扎把自己的想法說出來,但我可以話你知,當時連說話的力氣也沒有。

打了 epidural。(又,打 epidural 是一點也不痛!幾乎沒有感覺。)心想也好,不用受苦,才兩度,捱到幾時呢。

真的好在有打。後來,開到六度,就一直沒進展。打了催生藥,(雖我不太願意但沒法啦。)還是沒進展。醫生說,看來你要開刀啦。嗯,你知我當時有幾震驚嗎? 我以為打催生藥已是極限,那時在醫院已十個鐘,沒想到這個時候,還是要挨上一刀!而我沒看過任何關於開刀的資料,沒有任何心理準備!!重點是,本人認為自 然生(兼不用麻醉藥)比較型呀))))))))(!)

震驚中的我,問醫生是否必需,可否讓我再試多陣。醫生說,其實早在兩個鐘前就應該開刀啦,但她料到我不想,所以才給我打摧生藥的。

我應該是萬分不情願的樣子,後來醫生說,見我和 BB 情況都理想,就加重催生藥,讓我試多兩個鐘吧。

在這兩個鐘裡,自己做了些心理上的調整,與男人傾談了一會。明白到,如果試太久,給太多 stress BB 對他也不好。況且羊水中有 BB 的 poo,真的不適宜等太久... ... 但心裡仍期盼兩個鐘後有進展... ...

沒有。

兩個鐘後仍六度。在那情況下,已沒得選擇,肚,是一定要開的了;連懼怕的時間也沒有。

然後你發覺,其實也沒甚麼嘛。因為事情發生的忽然,也沒時間去想那麼多。At each moment, you just want to do what's best for the baby。

開刀後,才發現原來BB的頭部位置是斜的,其實是沒有可能出到來。(所以醫生一直說 BB 的頭仍很高。)可憐的BB也很努力的想擠出來,頭都尖了。二來,BB 剛剛過了八磅,以我這種嬌小型(?!)來說其實是蠻巨型,是有難度的。

雖然,我最不想發生的一一都發生了,但生完第一個念頭是,好在及時開刀了;好在我沒有再倔強下去還要等。然後有點兒後悔沒有早點開刀。。。然後想到自己是何其幸運,如果早在幾十或一百年之前,不但 BB 保不住,自己也可能有生命危險。。。(淚光)


友說,孩子是上天給我們的禮物。

對呀,我會好好珍惜這份禮物的。

Monday, July 1, 2013

男人放假一週。我發達啦哇哈哈哈。

Thursday, June 27, 2013

知唔知成日要揹住小豬,除左腳會跛,冇啖好食,最大隱晦係咩?。。。人有三急,沒有辦法啦。唯有暗求啲臭氧唔會整醒小豬囉。

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

半夜餵奶時居然見到隻蚊大膽在我玉腿上搵食!!一手抱小豬,一手擊掌下去。手和腿都是鮮血。(家裡仍受蚊災困擾,已數不清身上有幾多蚊lah。)

Monday, June 24, 2013

昨晚奇蹟出現了!小豬從九點睡到今朝九點!!(有餵奶三次。)雖然9:30醒過哭了一陣,10:15才放落床。但之前未試過十二點前放落床係唔再醒再哭閙的。又,根本我們好少機會有在十二點前放他落床。因為幾乎每晚十至十一點,無論睡著或醒著,他都會忽然痛哭起來,多數鬧到一、兩點才可放他落床。

Friday, June 21, 2013

以前小豬一張開眼就喊。呢個星期,我每日張開眼,望下個仔,就見到佢眼仔碌碌望住我,(可能佢有 make 啲 noise 所以我醒左。)見到我望佢,就會對住我 笑!馬上忘記之前嗰晚佢既扭計樣!!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

上個星期仲好抗拒出街的我,今日已經自己揹住小豬去街!哇,好叻呀我!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

其實 baby colic 唔係大問題,問題係個 colic hours 唔好 start 喺 10-11pm 就謝天謝地了!!

Friday, June 7, 2013

轉左三個鐘才餵一次奶,感覺輕鬆左好多。(好自然地 transition 了!)之前會覺得不停地在餵奶!
Just when I think I already had the worst night...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

冇既,有時當你接受左現實,其實又唔係咁冇出路既。係囉,接受左個仔就係唔會自己瞓低,要整日揹住架喇。以前會幻想個仔午睡時我都有好多時間用唧。幻想破滅難免低落了數天。唔習慣被另一個個體綁住嘛說穿左咪就係咁囉。但其實接受左,揹住佢都做到唔少嘢嘅。。。例如(prepare)煮飯!!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Everyday I pray for a miracle.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

我鄭重重申我對生仔的看法:可以的話不要生。一定要,一個是極限。(生前生後沒有變,只會更肯定!)

Monday, May 27, 2013

I almost have second thought about being a stay-home-mom. Yes, it is that tough.
湊仔一個月,學到好多野。明白到湊仔並不是一套理論,一個方式。不是你想點就點,係要按BB的需要去應變。另一個體會是,沒有湊過仔的千萬別評論別人如何湊 仔法。因為有時作父母的,真的是身不由己。

Friday, May 17, 2013

餵人奶餵到我有時神志不清。(真的少點意志力都堅持不到!)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

我生左個大食B。唉。

Friday, May 10, 2013

兩個鐘就餵一次人奶,真的是他媽的累。(生後未試過一次過睡多過兩個鐘。佩服爛瞓豬的自己。)

Monday, May 6, 2013

第一接觸

那天從手術室被推到 recovery room,護士問我,要不要在那裡就與寶寶聚一聚,還是等到去自己房間才聚呢。

我說當然是越快越好。

後來(護士著)男人抱了寶寶過來,護士說,不如來些 skin-to-skin time 吧。

好呀。

我除了上身的袍,護士讓赤裸的寶寶貼近我的上身。

那時,寶寶才來到這個世上兩、三個小時。

躺了一會兒,頭在乳房旁的寶寶居然自己懂得啜起乳頭來!(要知道他的眼睛還未開呢。)

好神奇呀!這就是人類的天性吧!


那一刻,更令我 determine 要 breastfeed。

Saturday, May 4, 2013

親愛的終於來了。


Mama promise to take your hands, but you must take your own steps. 


。。。



比預產期遲了三天,果然是巨嬰一個。

分娩的過程有點波折,確實有好多事情都不是在我們的掌握之中。但當意料之外的事情發生時,我們還是有足夠的力量去應對的。

我最不想發生的情況最後還是發生了。然而我萬分的感恩,在整個過程中,每一位照顧我的醫生和護士都是盡責的很,令這個本來難熬的經驗也變成很 positive。

嗯,到現在,有時都還覺得整件懷孕事情像發夢一樣。有時對著小 baby,想跟他說,你是誰呀﹖你是從那裡來的呀﹖怎麼會在這裡呀﹖(!!!) 。。。



。。。

 我的寶寶,媽媽愛你。

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

姍姍來遲的B。

預產期 +2 日,循例去醫務所檢查。醫生說:「BB 的頭依然高;子宮頸未怎麼開。」(懷孕最後一個月每個星期見醫生一次。38週後醫生會「伸手進去」(!)檢查,看看子宮頸開了未,BB 是否準備好出來。)

也就是說,仍沒有要出來的跡象。灰。

38週2日,醫生見到我的肚大驚,「怎麼比上個星期大了很多,他可能是個巨嬰呀!」那時真的好驚嚇。以為他也應該早出來吧,要不然我怎麼生呀~~

(我媽說我出世時是個巨嬰,咳咳,3.95kg/8.7lb。(!) 辛苦到不得了。)

兩個星期前的我。38週2日。好多人都說好~~大~~呀~~

還好啦,這兩個星期來肚子沒有再大過。(事實是,這個月我也只重了兩磅。) 醫生今日也說,裡面還有許多空位,所以BB應該不算超級巨嬰,但都接近 8lb 吧。 =_=;

+ + +

但,現在超期了怎麼辦﹖如果BB再不出來,醫生會在星期六催生。而,今日要到醫院做些測試,確定BB是安全的。如果測試不通過,會提早催生。

第一是看看胎水夠不夠多。如果胎水不夠,胎盤可能不能正常運作,提供足夠營養給BB。嗯,我胎水仍很多。很好。

第二是檢查BB心跳,要 monitor 20 分鐘!!開始時心跳不如理想的高,護士說BB應該睡著了,要叫醒他。(!)然後她拿了一個儀器給我看,說會發出聲音和震動。她在我手上試測了一下,然後她朝BB頭部按了一下。可憐的 baby!!馬上整個人跳了起來!!(!!)嚇死他啦嗚嗚~~~ 他當然醒曬啦,心跳也增加到正常。

嗯,如果這幾天BB還不出來,星期五還要到醫院做同樣的測試。

+ + +

希望不用催生啦。BB你快點出來啦。

Monday, April 22, 2013

等。

四月二十二日,比預產期過了一日,我,還未生得。灰。

三個月時照超聲波,BB比預期早五日,所以一直以為會早的。(每個胎早期的成長速度是一樣的。) 我也在三個星期前就開始放假。誰知。BB有他自己的主張,他就是不想那麼早出來嘛。

(好吧,媽媽等囉。但寶貝呀,可否不要讓媽媽等太久呢﹖一個星期後你再不出來,醫生就會逼你出來架啦。你都不想被逼出來吧﹖)

+ + +

有空嘛,不如寫下我的懷孕經歷吧。(!)

(其實一開始時就想寫的,但我早期懷得好辛苦,那來的心情呀﹖! )

+ + +

我在月經遲了十天才驗孕的。(!) 一來,我經期不準加通常都遲。二來,我有點接受不了那麼快就有了。(才第一個月「順其自然」!) (但其實心情是矛盾的,不想那麼快之餘又不想不是,因為週期不穩所以有擔心自己難懷上。) 三來,那個星期剛好 P小姐生日,我在一個月前已經在 Sushi Ran 訂了檯, 怎麼都要食埋那餐魚生才驗吧!! (!!) (事實證明那是明智的抉擇,那是我最後一餐魚生。嗚~~~ 好懷念呀~~~ !) (!!!)

驗後,其實我還是半信半疑的。因為那條線很淡 (!) 和那支驗孕棒是過期的 (!!)。再加上,實在聽過太多早期 (八週內) 流產的事例,不敢抱太大的期望。但那個週末,我已經開始有少少作嘔;和,我們換了新的車房門,決定自己油油。用了兩天來做,星期天油完我感到前所未有的勞倦。

第二天早上我感到肚子有陣痛 (像經痛)。(驚!!) 然後全身無力。(驚驚驚!!!) 沒有返工,睡了一整天。第三天,肚子沒有痛了,但作嘔頭暈沒有胃口!! 完全返不了工。(嗚~~~) 那時其實很擔心個胎沒了。第四天決定仍留在家中,再驗多次,仍是 positive。 (呼~~)

。。。

然後我的懷孕生涯就是這樣開始的了。從第六個星期到十四個星期,沒有間斷過想作嘔頭暈沒有胃口 (但好肚餓!),再加 (幾乎是24小時的) 偏頭疼。那時真的覺得自己就快死了。從未試過那麼的辛苦。(不要忘記我還要返工的呀。超疲倦的。) 然後人人都安慰我,三個月後就沒事啦,頂住呀。

但三個月後仍是一樣!! 我是在三個半月後情況才有所好轉。但並不是一下間就沒事了,只是有一點點好轉而已!! 我是捱到五個月後 (二十週!!) 才稍為好好多。天啊~~~

第六和七個月是我的蜜月期。七個月後又是另一種痛苦。個胎越來越大,行動越來越不方便,身體也越來越疲倦。返工每天要駕兩小時車程真的很折磨,坐耐了就腰痛到要命。(好在,產假前一個月我都在家工作的。如果不是都不知怎死法!)

還有,吃和睡一向是我的至愛。(!) 但整個懷孕期間,我都吃得不好睡不好。(嗚~~~) 九成時間都沒有胃口吃東西。差起上來是真的逼自己吞食物下去!! 睡呢,「一覺睡天光」這種事應該發生不多過五次。(!!) 通常睡兩、三個鐘就醒一次。可以半小時內再入睡已算萬幸。好多時是一、兩個鐘,甚試過三、四個鐘。想死。

+ + +

不過,後期怎也沒早期那麼辛苦。而,真的,當時那種痛不欲生的感覺其實已經忘記了,只是記得那時很痛苦。(其實還有很多痛苦事情的,這裡我算只是淡淡帶過,因為真的不太記得了!)

當初會覺得,九個月,怎麼捱呀﹖漫漫長路。但原來時間也可以過得很快,又好像一下子就到了。有些人說很享受懷孕的過程。我想她們是癡線的吧。我。一。點。也。不。享。受。

但,雖是這樣說,我明白一個媽媽還是要經歷這一切才能好好去保護將來出生的嬰孩吧﹖雖是那麼的辛苦,但感到寶寶每天在自己的體內成長,那還是一種無限奇妙的感覺。

而,要養育一個小孩,那種辛苦,懷孕期又如何比得上。這個期間是預備我們走更遠的路吧。

+ + +


見BB不肯出來,昨天買了些充滿陽光的 ranunculus 回家。插完之後都覺得好美哦。同這個 post 沒有甚麼關係,但想曬下嘛。:P

又,這些天 SF 的天氣也好得太過份了吧。 所以,心情還是OK的。

Monday, April 1, 2013

New Beginning。

從十八歲開始打工,二十歲開始自力更生,工作了近二十個年頭。(!)今天,以一個閒人 (?)的身份開始新的生活。

心情如何?沒有想像中的怪。(!!)嗯,其實就跟平時放假沒分別嘛。(小姐,才第一天,想點呢?!)

沒有睡到日出三竿,十點就起床了。好早呀~~~ (!!!)男人問,為什麼那麼早呢?我答,因為我要做個好好的家庭主婦。(!!!!)

夠了。

(其實我有好多野等著我做呢。)

Friday, March 29, 2013

The End。

今天是我最後的一個工作天。

從明天開始,將會失去六位數字的年薪。不是大把錢,不是錢不重要,(畢竟自己都是窮家女出身,)只是,活到這個年紀,真的明白到,有好多野比錢更重要。曾有不捨得,但現已釋然。因為我將會開始人生新的一頁,更精彩的在前頭。想來,不是沒有感動的。

這些日子下來,心中有許多話想記下來,但奈何有更重要的事情等著我去做。希望,將來有機會一一寫下。(有點大諗頭?!)

Friday, February 8, 2013

BB 手語

BB 手語是很多年前就聽說過的。雖然那時的我完全沒有生小孩的念頭,但也覺得很有趣。

其實一直以來都想學手語的,覺得好得意啊。但… … 當然這種沒有 immediate 需要的事情通常都是得個想字啦。

後來認識了男人,某次不知說起甚麼,原來他也知道 BB 手語,也感興趣。(想不說我們天生一對都不行囉。) (!) (不過真的,有幾多人沒有小孩會知道架﹖) 忘記那次討論了甚麼,但可能都有了個共識,如果將來有BB,就可以運用囉。


市面上有好些這類書,男人選了這本。我看了一、兩章,覺得還不錯。

BB 手語不是甚麼創新的手語,只是借用 American Sign Language 而已。(當然用任何一種手語都可以啦。) 但只用一些平時與 BB 接觸的單詞。


其實學十幾二十個基本的,都已經夠用了。不難學,基本的我們現在都識了。那,要本書來幹嗎﹖對,其實是不需要本書的。它主要講小 baby 的發育過程,例如甚麼時候開始同他 sign;他甚麼時候才會有反應;甚麼月份可以學到幾多,之類。可能這期間我也沒有讀甚麼其他關於 baby 的發育過程,所以覺得幾有用。

當然,本書都有點講到天花龍鳳,講到學 BB 手語有好多好處:與同期的小朋友比,會聰明些,會早些說話,會懂多些單詞等等。

我覺得那些不重要。我想做,一來是真的覺得好玩;二來,我覺得溝通好重要, 我想能與 BB 早點溝通到。當個 BB 的意願能得到明白,自然不會那麼易發牢騷, 自然也會好湊些吧。

另,看圖學手語不是那麼容易的一件事。本書是教理論,若要學,可以 download 一些有真人示範的 apps 來學比較易。(我 download 了幾個免費的,只教二、三十個手語。有需要我會考慮給錢買 full version。)

當然,要實行的話最好預早做好準備,未生前就要熟練一些基本的。等到 BB 來了才學,那時都累死了,還有心情去研究嗎﹖

嗯,我好期待同 BB 做手語哦。

Monday, February 4, 2013

細B你的名字

親愛的細B:

你好嗎﹖細B你就來見到爸爸媽媽了,緊張嗎﹖爸爸常常唱歌仔給你聽,你中意嗎﹖

細B呀,媽媽有點煩惱呢。是關於你的名字。你就快要面對這個世界了,我們還沒有一個確定的名字給你呀!! 怎麼辦!!

其實媽媽也沒有甚麼要求的嘛,只不過想你的英文名字與中文名字同音。媽媽想不到原來是那麼的難!!

另一樣媽媽不想的是,給你一個「正統」的英文名字,因為你是中國人呀。媽媽想你的英文名字是中文名的譯音。

好難呢原來!! 要中文好聽得來又要譯到個英文好聽又要不奇怪又要似「英文名字」。 。。

-=______=-   (<---- 煩惱的媽媽)

其實當爸爸媽媽知道你是男孩子後就開始日想夜也想了。期間都有些選擇,但總是覺得欠缺了些甚麼。後來有天媽媽靈機一動,就有了個還尚滿意的。但,仍心大心細囉。

上個月有位姨姨問起,媽媽就告訴她。她沒有即時的反應,媽媽就知道她不喜歡啦。姨姨說,it's unique,但怕別人會串錯或讀錯你的名字,又怕你會被同學仔笑。嗯,媽媽跟姨姨說,嗯人生本來就是有許多不方便的地方啦。姨姨大笑。姨姨也剛剛生了個 寶寶,媽媽知道她總是會擔心這些。但媽媽不是很擔心呢。

其實,讓人笑一笑又怎樣呢。媽媽從來就不太理會那些無相幹的人。細B你要知道,無論你是怎樣,總是會有人笑你的。他們喜歡笑就讓他們笑囉。在這方面,媽媽希望你似媽媽呢。這樣才能活得自在和快樂。(這個,媽媽遲下再慢慢教你,好嗎﹖)

 前幾天,媽媽跟另一位姨姨吃飯,她也問起你的名字。這位姨姨比較直接,就說不喜歡,也是擔心你會被人笑之類。我跟姨姨說,笑下有甚麼所謂呢。姨姨笑說,呀,你是「那種」父母呀。不怕你兒子將來恨你嗎﹖

呀,有這麼嚴重嗎﹖細B你不會吧﹖雖然不是一個「正統」的英文名字,但絕對不是甚麼怪名字啦,都很似一個「正統」的英文名字的。(媽媽不會故意去害你啦。) 媽媽知道,兩位姨姨不喜歡是因為這不是「正統」的英文名字;不「正統」對她們來說就會有麻煩。

姨姨又對媽媽說,對不起那麼直接,有沒有傷害到你﹖(姨姨那麼直接當然是為你好啦。)

傻的嗎,媽媽這樣就感到受傷還是你媽媽嗎﹖(!)

媽媽很 appreciate 兩位姨姨的實話。聽後,媽媽實在有很慎重地重複又重複地考慮。但也因為雖然沒有得到她們的同意,媽媽思考後還是覺得那種名字是可取的,所以比之前也多了份肯定。

其實,媽媽又想了想,這兩位姨姨的兒子的名字,媽媽也沒有喜歡呀。再想深一層,媽媽朋友中兒子的的名字,好像也沒有那個是媽媽特別的喜歡呢。嗯,所以囉,別人喜歡不喜歡其實不重要啦。

細B呀,媽媽真的是盡力為你取個好名字的,希望你明白這點吧。 媽媽也希望你將來會喜歡呢。

^____^


愛你的媽媽

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

全職媽媽的糾結

男人有兩個大學朋友一畢業就結婚了。女的,以第一名在他們的系畢業;間間大公司爭著請她。後來做了幾年好像是做得不開心就辭了職,然後決定生小孩,然後一直都是全職媽媽。

年幾前他們來探過我們。女的,嬌小玲瓏,溫嫻型。一點也看不出在一個陽盛的系中居首位。男人說,她真的很聰明,但那時就看得出她沒有甚麼野心,屬小女人型。他又說,好浪費呀,以她這種人材,可以有一番作為啊。

那時我就白了他一眼,有甚麼浪費不浪費的呢,你以為湊小孩很容易嗎﹖

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嗯,一直認為,生小孩就要自己教養。以前我常給人一種女強人的錯覺。其實,我在事業上沒有野心的。或者我已經找到我自己,不需要工作來證明自己的能力。所以辭工並不算是甚麼難事,唯一不捨得的只是錢吧。

一來不想給太大壓力我男人,畢竟我們住在一個昂貴的城市。二來,有時都會想,如果繼續工作,或許能給小孩(物質上)更好的。例如,我一直都傾向讓小孩讀公校;但聽人講多了,會有點動搖。會否私校才是較好的選擇? 畢竟三藩市公校也不是甚麼好貨色。

不知道呢。

但我肯定,小孩還是自己來湊比較好。而頭幾年怎樣教養特別的重要。講真到目前為止,我沒有甚麼當媽媽的憂慮;反而我非常的期待與我的小孩一起成長。我覺得,每天陪伴著他長大,就是我能給他最好的禮物。

其他的,不想想太多了。

Thursday, January 3, 2013

2012 總結(II)

昨晚我男人看過我上篇文後好大反應耶,「沒有呀~~~ 我沒有逼你生仔呀~~~」

=_=;


他要求我寫後記解釋。

=_=; =_=; =_=;


身為一個好人妻,就寫囉。

(不過,是真有想補充的地方。)

當然啦,生,不是因為伴侶想,我就生嘛。(我是那麼沒性格的嗎﹖)(!) 這是個小生命耶,不是貨品啊。焉不知好些男人想要小孩但不想幫忙照顧的嗎﹖

我男人是個超有耐性的人。(能與我相處到就知啦!) 對著小孩子,更是耐性無限。每次見到他與小孩子相處,我就感到很心安啦。別人的孩子他都那麼溫柔對待,自己的還用說嗎﹖

(其實當初我是有點擔心,如果生個小女孩,那一定會被他寵壞的。)

能安心地踏上這條生小孩的路(!),當然是因為我知道我男人將會是個好爸爸,會與我一起努力照顧寶寶,會分擔這份責任。因為這是兩個人的事。如果只是一個人去做,我才不幹呢。

所以呢,我是真的想生才生的哦。

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2012 總結

我的 2012 年,很簡單,上半年要結婚;下半年懷孕了。

結婚對我 (們) 來說沒甚麼,生活也沒甚麼變化。一切如常。我還是我,他還是他。我們還是那樣過日子。

踏進下半年,我們想,嗯,要計劃計劃生小孩的事情吧﹖礙於自己那難已捉摸的週期,年紀又實在不小,確實有擔心過會有問題。但心想,不能那也是天意,上天也 覺得我不適合有小孩囉。(感覺馬上變輕鬆。) 然後都聽說年紀大的都比較難啦如此之類的。那我們想,好啦,就順其自然吧~~~ 可能都要一段時間才懷得上吧~~~

沒有啦。世事就是這樣,是你的躲不掉。我也覺得,上天想給我一個很確定的信息,咳咳,眨下眼就有左。(!) (當初確實有點難以相信。驗了一次後隔多個星期又驗多次。)

(我們是幸運的,在這方面。很感恩。)

關於生小孩這個問題,經常被問及。我沒有生理時鐘催我;沒有見到小孩就想散發母愛;更沒有「因為很愛一個人就想為他生小孩」的意念。

其實要生,到最後也只有兩個原因:

外在的原因:伴侶想要。我覺得要不要孩子絕對是兩個人的事,而這點一定要在交往最早期了解清楚。所以,也可以說,好早其實我都已經知道我們是會生的。如果我真的很不想生,我不會繼續與這人交往下去。

內在的原因:我想不想建立一份父母與子女的關係。要不要小孩從來都不是「我喜不喜歡小孩」這個問題。(正如我喜歡我男人不等於我見到男人都喜歡吧。有時我 還真的不太明白大家的邏輯。) 而,我會問自己,我想去照顧另一個生命嗎﹖我想去建立一份嶄新的關係嗎﹖我可以會另一個生命負上責任嗎﹖

有時,見到別人生小孩像到街市買棵菜那麼輕鬆,就好生羨慕。我覺得要生,真的要有充足的心理準備。婚結了還可以離,小孩生了可不能不要。

我是個做事很認真的人。一就不做,一做就要訓身去做。(也基於了解自己這點,我是不會隨便就決定做一件事的人。) 所以,生個小孩出來,真的是意味著很多變化。最基本的,我想全時間照顧他。幸運的是,我們有這個選擇。當然是要有所捨棄。但我覺得人生是 about priorities,而盡力好好照顧他,is one of my top priorities。

所以,2013,會是產生巨大變化的一年。一向沒有甚麼新年願望的我,今年希望,我的寶寶健健康康的,出世後睡得食得,那我就安樂了。